Can I Have 3 More ?

Daily writing prompt

Name your top three pet peeves.

This is like when you find the magic lamp and the genie pops out and grants you 3 wishes….your first wish is to ask for unlimited wishes but then the genie says “nope, you only get 3″….. ok fine, 3 pet peeves

The first is technology…..oh technology, my friend, my enemy, my frenemy…… you make everything so easy and so, so frustrating. Need directions, just take out your phone and get turn by turn directions. It’s gotten to the point that I wonder how anybody got anywhere before maps on our phones.

Need to find out which president died shortly after his inauguration because his speech was too long and he caught pneumonia….it’s just a query away on your phone ( I don’t actually know who that was or even if he did die of pneumonia because I didn’t actually look it up but I do remember from history class that did happen )…..my point is before smart phones and Google we had to find information in the encyclopedia or at the library or by asking our parents, and lets be honest 2 out of 3 of those were probably accurate and the other just told you something to get rid of you.

I marvel at all the wonderful technology and information just a few keystrokes away but nothing and I mean nothing gets my blood pressure rising than creating a profile and password for every single stinkin thing on the web. Scan this QR code, create a profile and password, become a preferred member, accumulate points, get a discount………why is it that everybody on the web wants me to be a preferred member with a profile and password. My password book is now multiple pages long and yet most on them still don’t work…… is that all caps for that one or just one capital letter and is that the number one or the special character the exclamation point….UGH, WHY WON’T IT TAKE IT…..I KNOW IT’S RIGHT….my wife’s solution is to just ask for another password and update it…….but I have a book of passwords of multiple pages some of them must work….right ?

My second pet peeve is fake outrage. Everybody is outraged about something and they have a way to express it. Blame the cell phone again or perhaps social media but I blame us, humans for this one. Folks…..are we really devolving into people that whine and complain about everything……please you can’t really be outraged about all the things I see on Facebook or Tiktok or Twitter. I do feel this is just sad attempts at seeking attention for yourself and whatever cause nobody is really paying attention to. And lets face it most things posted on social media are quickly forgotten as people scroll by and there’s so much outrage going on that it’s really just become noise, background noise that people ignore like traffic noise.

The third pet peeve and this one is the cousin to fake outrage…..fake urgency. Just because you can reach me immediately by phone or text doesn’t mean I have to respond immediately. Just because you think your problem is of utmost importance doesn’t mean that I have to solve it right now. Very few things need to be taken care of now….in fact most things can wait, an hour, a day, a couple of days in fact…..so if I don’t answer my phone the first time you call then send me a text but if I don’t answer it right away I’m probably looking through my password book for the right password for my profile so I can become a preferred member and get points and discounts on the web……

Peace and Love

John

Make Bread not Art

While scrolling some headlines this morning my attention was diverted by a story about a banana duct taped to wall in an art gallery. Evidently this piece of art is soon to be auctioned off by Sotheby’s auction house and could sell for $1 million or higher.

This artwork titled “Comedian” by an Italian artist first debuted at a Miami art fair in 2019. It quickly became a much discussed piece and selfie seeking crowds so thoroughly crowded around it that it eventually had to be removed, but not before another artist who was perhaps jealous of the attention, removed the banana from the wall and ate it necessitating a backup banana be brought in.

A spokesperson for Sotheby’s calls it “profound and provocative” ……….although truthfully I feel he says this about every piece of art. Just to clarify the bidders won’t be bidding on the original banana and piece of duct tape as the fruit was always meant to be replaced.

In fact, what you are really buying is not the banana and duct tape but a certificate of authenticity that grants the owner the permission to reproduce the banana and duct tape on their wall as an original piece of artwork by the artist.

So really I or anybody else doesn’t need to spend a $1 million to duct tape a banana to their wall. I could do it for considerably cheaper than that, but I’m sure my wife would not be happy at my attempt at modern art and removal of the banana would probably take paint off the wall and we do have a fruit bowl sitting on the table and even though I never considered it a piece of art I suppose I could duct tape a banana to the fruit bowl…..who knows maybe some day, somebody would consider a banana duct taped to a fruit bowl to be “profound and provocative”

So go ahead make art with fruit, duct tape or any other household items….just make sure it doesn’t damage the walls or your spouse would not be happy about your modern interpretation of art……or you could just make bread

Peace and Love,

John

Go Ahead and Do It

Daily writing prompt

What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?

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There is something I’ve been pondering and putting off. A couple of weeks ago I saw a notice about a short story contest open to all residents in my state. I thought it might be interesting to enter but I became paralyzed each time I sat down at the computer to enter.

I had a short story in mind that I liked and thought others might like but each time I sat down to submit it I would stare at the screen and eventually turn it off without entering the contest. Part of the reason was the submission guidelines….you have to create an account and password and I had to change the spacing and font on the story. I know these are all minor and easily overcome but I used these as an excuse not to submit.

I knew the real reason for my reluctance was that my story would be read and judged. I have a very small audience of readers of my blog and that’s fine…..sure I would like more readers but I know the loyal few do actually read it and generally find it to be entertaining……and really that’s all I’m aiming for here.

By entering a contest my work would be judged against other stories probably submitted by real writers, not by bloggers who write once a week about something that happened in the grocery store. And that’s really why I’ve been pondering this and been paralyzed into in-action for the past couple of weeks. I know my story probably isn’t good enough to be considered against other stories but when I write a short blog post a few people read it and some even hit the like button but nobody comments how bad it was.

So this morning I sat once again at the computer staring at the entry guidelines and submission page. I found myself filling out the application and attaching my story to it and away it went into the internet ether…..a few minutes later I got a confirmation e-mail and it was submitted.

I don’t know why today was the day…..maybe because it is Monday and I wanted to get the week rolling in the right direction or maybe I got tired of making excuses and sitting around worrying that others would read my story and possibly dislike it or call it the work of an beginner but my work is out there for others to read and really as writers that’s all we really want.

Peace and Love….

John

Do Something…..

Daily writing prompt

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

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I love a lazy morning, in fact a lazy Sunday morning might be my favorite time of the week. Especially when it turns colder in the fall or downright freezing in the winter. Nobody really expects anything out of you on a freezing Sunday morning, so it’s perfectly acceptable to curl up under a blanket and read a book or the paper (although the paper is on my phone so curling up with my phone reading the paper doesn’t sound as romantic as it should)

I’ve never been the type to sit for hours and not do anything, although I have been known to doze off under a blanket in the chair by the fire listening to a podcast awakening an hour later only to discover my podcast has ended and I must decide if it is worth the hassle to go back and listen to it again because I doubt I really grasped the concept of it while napping. Most times I don’t….if it caused me to doze off it really wasn’t holding my attention to begin with.

I’m not the type to binge watch an entire season of the latest and greatest show or even watch more than one episode at a time. No matter what I’m doing on a lazy morning, after awhile I feel this urgency to get up and do something. I really can’t stand the idea of an unproductive day….it seems so wasteful and I feel very lethargic unless I accomplish something…..so yes I love a lazy morning but it almost never stretches into a lazy day

Peace and Love

John

If Only I Could……

Daily writing prompt

What skill would you like to learn?

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I am often dismayed by my own lack of skills. I’m not sure if it’s a lack of genuine interest and curiosity or just a lack of self-confidence and belief but it is rather astonishing how little I know and can do. My wife is often exasperated at my lack of knowledge and skills. Quite frequently this leads her to simply doing a task herself instead of asking me to.

Can I do car repairs, oh heavens no, that necessitates a trip to the repair shop. My friend once told me that he changed the brakes on his car by watching a YouTube video….I was surprised and instantly disappointed in myself, I can watch videos as well as anyone, but I decided it was probably for the best that I have no desire to attempt brake repairs as that could go disastrously wrong.

Can I do basic carpentry, not at all, I have a hard time driving a straight nail. Plumbing and electrical repairs are way out of my skill set and quite frankly I would be slightly fearful that I would make whatever the problem was only worse. I can perhaps change a tire in an emergency if I follow the instructions in the owners manual and I had my glasses handy.

I am quite capable of following instructions so I can put together stuff, you know the stuff you buy that says rather ominously on the side of the box “some assembly required”……usually my wife will come and check on my progress after an hour or so, her presence casting a shadow over me with a gentle inquiry of….. “so, how’s it going, need any help ?”

No matter my progress I confidently exclaim that….. “I’m almost done and just a few more things to tighten”…..this is of course an obvious lie as there are half of the pieces and parts scattered on the floor and a pile of screws, bolts, nuts and washers that I hope are just extras. She usually sighs and leaves me alone in my misery of assembly, her sigh saying so much. But unless I need an extra pair of hands I can follow the instructions to completion and I proudly stand over my assembled work hours later showing it off like a sculptor who just created a masterpiece.

I’m awed by those talented individuals who can see a pile of wood and construct a piece of furniture or a person who can walk into an empty room and envision a cozy space with just the right wall decorations and properly spaced furniture so the room has a certain flow and warmth. I know that most people aren’t born as carpenters or interior designers, except Jesus was a carpenter so maybe he was born with those skills, but most people spend hours acquiring said skills. Perhaps this is my weakness, I never really had an interest in spending so much time on something that it turned into a skill……but as I age there is one skill I wish I had and that is the ability to play an instrument.

Much like my inability to drive a nail or change the brake pads on a car, I have zero musical talent. I can’t sing, dance, read music or carry a tune. My musical ability peaked when I was a teenager and I could make a mix tape on my stereo adjusting the knobs just so to get the perfect balance of bass and treble. I wish I would have kept those mix tapes as it would be some sort of tangible proof of musical ability but now I just open the Pandora app on my phone to get a mix tape type listening experience.

What I would really like would be to learn how to play the guitar or piano….I want to be the old guy on the beach strumming a guitar at sunset or the guy at the piano jauntily playing a sing-along as everyone joins in. I suppose it’s never too late to learn a skill, it just takes time and interest and commitment. So perhaps one day I’ll find the time, I’ll make a commitment and learn a useful skill, one that doesn’t involve an instruction manual and doesn’t cause my wife to sigh plaintively.

Take Care….Peace and Love

John

Games, Games and more Games

Daily writing prompt

If you were going to open up a shop, what would you sell?

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I’ve never been the type to want to open any kind of store. When I was a teenager my first job was in a retail store so I got to experience first hand the type of career that working in a store would be, add in the fact that my fathers career was also in retail management and I quickly determined that this wasn’t for me. Working or owning a store means long hours, nights and weekends. It means being open on holidays and always feeling like you’re the only one working. Working in a store requires dealing with the public everyday, all day and never having a bad day.

No I would never want to own a store, in fact I wold probably be terrible at it and would soon go out of business because the only store I would open wouldn’t even sell anything. The only store I would ever want to own would simply be a game store, but I wouldn’t sell games instead I’d rent them out for people to play at my store.

I should mention that the games I’m talking about would be board games and not video games and I suppose that can tell you about my experiences as a child as I played far more board games than video games. We didn’t have a game night every week but we certainly played alot of board games as a family. We had all the traditional games….Monopoly, Life, Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary, Yahtzee just to name a few. We played games that involved throwing dice and moving plastic pieces around a board and games with spinners and driving stick people in cars. Games with the small little sand in the hourglass timer and games with no timers that seemed to last forever. Still to this day whenever we gather we most likely will break out a board game and play as a family. So I always thought it would be fun to own a store to recreate that feeling of sitting down with family or friends and playing a board game.

Imagine a store filled with games…..all kinds of games. The walls would be lined with games the shelves packed with them. Every board game ever made would be in this store and people could come in and play them for a small fee. And I wouldn’t try to sell anything….no coffee or tea, no bagels or doughnuts, nothing to distract you from the game. There would be all kinds of tables, big ones, small ones, long ones and round ones, and all you’d hear would be people playing the games, shouting, laughing, even anguish cries of an unlucky dice roll and most of all there would be no TV’s or cell phones allowed.

I know this might make some people feel uneasy not having their phone in their hands or right next to them but I would have small lockboxes to lock their phones in so they were inaccessible and the lockboxes would sit on the table as they were playing and if anybody opened the lockbox to check their phone they would be immediately kicked out and told to never come back, banished from the game store. and possibly publicly humiliated…….yes I know, perhaps a bit harsh but hey nothing should interrupt the game.

I know this store would probably never be successful in this day and age, although board games are still very popular I lament that people seem too busy to play, too many distractions, too much to watch and too much social media to scroll thru but still I would love to have a store where every night is game night.

If you had a family game night or favorite game you played as a kid please feel free to comment and share your experiences and don’t forget to hit that like button

Peace and love,

John

Finding My Way

Daily writing prompt

If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?

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Well for starters I can’t imagine anybody wanting to write a biography about me, but lets suspend reality for a brief moment and suppose that it somehow happens. I also can’t imagine anybody reading a biography about me. You know how you are browsing through a bookstore and they have the shelves or tables of bestsellers and then there’s usually a rack of staff recommendations……typically these are lesser known books or authors that the staff enjoys reading and they want other people to know about. Usually there is a little blurb about what the staff member enjoyed most about the book something like……

“I couldn’t put it down”…..or…. “a real page turner”…..or …….. “memorable characters”……

I would have a feeling that the poor staff member who was assigned to read my biography would have a hard time finding a positive blurb about it……it would probably be something like….

“well I finished it”……or…… “at least I wasn’t scrolling through social media”…..or…… “helped with my insomnia”……

Remember back when there were video tapes of movies and we all went to Blockbuster to rent a movie and you’d be browsing the aisles and you’d see some movie you never heard of but it just came out…..this was the infamous “straight to video movie”…….named for the fact that it never even was worthy enough to be distributed in movie theaters but the studio wanted to try to recoup some of the expenses of making it so they tried to sell or rent it in VCR format.

I don’t know what the equivalent of that is in book form, but that’s what my biography would be. Relegated to the bargain table as soon as it was published, offered for some low price to cover the cost of printing. Even the summary on the back cover would be underwhelming…..

Finding My Way

One average man’s journey from middle class suburbia childhood to hard-working middle class adult. The trials and tribulations, the joys and heartache along the way are a microcosm of our times. The struggle to find a worthwhile career, the improbable meeting of his soulmate, his strange childlike fascination with the world around him and much to his wife’s consternation his immaturity grows greater with each year that passes…… “I was more mature as an 18 yr. old than I am now.”

That’s definitely a book to be found on the bargain table or at a thrift store…..

Peace and Love

John

Palm Slap Forehead

Daily writing prompt

What are your favorite emojis?

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Ah, the emoji….the cute, whimsical picture form of wordplay to express an emotion without actually writing it. The perfect symbol of our time…..why write something when you can send a picture. The various forms of smiley faces, laughing faces, crying faces are just the tip of the iceberg. Emojis for people, places, objects, work occupations, animals and even food…..an emoji for literally everything.

For a long time I refused to use emojis…..I admit I felt they were beneath me….I used texting for quick communication. I didn’t need an emoji to express myself. I could do that on my own just fine without pictures thank you. I figured the emoji was for kids and I even felt it represented a decline in our overall society. Cavemen had drawn pictures on walls as a way of communicating and here we were millions of years later resorting to silly smiley faces and eggplants to communicate our feelings. We’ve developed hundreds if not thousands of languages to communicate and yet we seem to be devolving back to communicating with pictures. And so for a long time I refused to use emojis….yes I was being a bit old fashioned.

Looking back it was rather silly and even curmudgeonly of me to hate on emojis. I had a friend whom I texted with almost daily and she always included emojis in her texts. She had a few favorites, the laughing face and the peace sign were included in most every text but she used all kinds of emojis….she used emojis I never even knew existed. I started referring to her as the emoji queen and she was an adult so I figured what’s the harm in throwing in an emoji to complement or even accentuate my texts.

Like most people I have a couple of favorites….the shoulder shrug and the face palm my two most frequently used but I’ve certainly expanded my portfolio. So go ahead and include an emoji in a text…..they’re fun and they convey an emotion quickly and no they shouldn’t replace talking or writing and be careful as they can sometimes be taken the wrong way…..that eggplant emoji just doesn’t mean lets have eggplant tonight ( insert face palm emoji here )

Peace and Love….

John

The Great Re-Read

Daily writing prompt

What book could you read over and over again?

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I don’t typically re-read the same book over again. If you’re a reader who enjoys many different genres then you always have a list of books to read and never enough time to read them. I occasionally will pick up an old favorite off the bookshelf and just open it and read a few pages but I almost never think about starting it all over from the beginning. Of course this begs the question of why do we even keep books once we’re finished with them ? If they’re just sitting on bookshelves or in piles around the house wouldn’t it be better if we gave them to others to enjoy and it would certainly free up space on shelves and desks for other objects. Perhaps the question of why we keep books we have no intention of reading again should be addressed on a future blog post but for now I’ll reveal the one book I’ve read more than once and surprisingly it was a book I didn’t even enjoy the first two times I read it, this book is……The Great Gatsby

I can’t remember the first time I read Gatsby…..it was probably when I was in high school, not that it was assigned to me but I remember reading it because I had heard so much about it and it was considered such a classic. I remember being enthralled by the first chapter describing that first big party thrown by the dashing, wealthy Jay Gatsby…..oh to be like him, hosting huge parties that spared no expense, but as the book dragged on I continually felt disillusioned by the characters……Gatsby desperately trying to impress an old girlfriend….really that’s it ? And all the other characters besides the narrator were just the most awful collection of self-absorbed people. I didn’t get it, I know it’s considered a classic and the definitive novel of a certain time period but I was disappointed….perhaps I myself was too immature to fully comprehend it’s genius.

Years went by before I re-read it….I tried I really did try to find the magic and see the wonder of it….but like before I didn’t find, couldn’t hear it, didn’t feel it. So there it sat on my bookshelf growing dusty, taking up space, destined to sit and be admired but not loved……until just a few years ago when I had the opportunity to listen to it on an audio book.

It’s funny how you comprehend something differently when you hear it as opposed to reading it…..at least for me there’s a deeper level of comprehension, or perhaps the narrator was particularly enthralling but I thoroughly enjoyed the audio book version of Gatsby far more than I enjoyed reading it. The words sung to me, they were lyrical and deep in ways I never picked up when I was reading it. I listened intently to each chapter even re-winding certain passages to hear them again the magic of the words dancing through my head. Yes there’s still very little redeeming qualities to most of the characters and the lack of accountability in the end is appalling and Gatsby’s futile attempt to win back Daisy is tragic ( c’mon Jay just move on ) but that’s the point…..writers know this, writers understand this…..happy endings are for movies and kids books.

So I once again re-read Gatsby….and I enjoyed it….I read it and heard the words and could see and feel the magic and I got it…..the story, the time period, the hope, the desperation and despair, the longing and the love and yes the tragedy that is life. So once again Gatsby sits on my bookshelf growing dusty occasionally opened and glanced at a page or two at a time but appreciated now for the great work it is

Thanks for reading….like or comment if you feel inclined

Peace and Love…..

John

The Places You Will Go

Daily writing prompt

Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.

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At first when I saw this topic I dismissed it thinking there was no possible way I could write anything worthwhile about a pair of shoes. Perhaps it’s just my male DNA but I’ve never understood the obsession and amount of shoes some people have. Generally I think it’s a gender thing but not always as I know of many male acquaintances who have a closet full of shoes seemingly one for each outfit they wear and I know of many male sneaker-heads who collect the latest basketball shoe usually endorsed and worn by a popular player.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that a good looking pair of shoes completes an outfit and a well fitting pair of shoes is invaluable…..if your feet are bothering you no matter how good the rest of your outfit is it doesn’t matter cuz your miserable. I know this because I work on my feet most of the day in all types of weather conditions and my work boots are the most important and valuable piece of apparel I wear each day….but I don’t want to write about work boots…..egads, there’s no romanticizing about work boots and the place they take me to is work and who really wants to be reminded of work. I rarely wear my work boots anywhere else and they get kicked off at the end of the day in the garage and forgotten about until the next workday……invaluable yes, loved, also yes for their durability and comfort, worthy of being written about…..gosh no.

It’s funny the amount of shoes I actually own is I think surprisingly low. A couple of pair of dress shoes, one pair black another brown, for the rare occasions I do dress up and then I have 3 pair of sneakers, each with a distinctive function. My workout shoes are for working out and are rarely used for anything else, my old workout shoes are now my yard shoes and since they have just about used up their usefulness even as yard shoes, they will soon be tossed out or perhaps donated to be recycled and soon my current workout shoes will become my yard shoes this summer and I’ll get a new pair of workout shoes….the circle of life, sneaker style.

The pair of shoes I think about most fondly is a pair I don’t even wear on a weekly basis. They too have a specific function and it’s because of this that they are my most favorite. In the shoe rack in the garage sits a pair of hiking boots and each time I glance at them I’m reminded of the places they have taken me and the people I have journeyed with.

I purchased them before our spring break family vacation a few years ago. Since my son was a high school senior we let him pick out a destination for his senior trip. Not being one of those kids that wanted to go on the official school trip to some exotic beach locale, and to be truthful we were perfectly happy about that, he desired an adventure, an out west hiking trip and so it was decided we should travel to perhaps one of the most stunning natural wonders imaginable….the Grand Canyon.

It was a wonderful experience…..mere words cannot describe the visual beauty, awe and wonder that the Grand Canyon provides and I as a mere blogger can’t properly do it justice. We hired a guide and hiked down into the canyon. I began to realize the further we went the more difficult and arduous the hike out would be but we all wanted to go farther, as far as our guide could take us and still get back before sundown. The farther you go into the canyon the less people there are. The first hour is crowded with family’s…..a single file line fills the trail but you quickly notice that most people are wearing sneakers or some other type of flimsy shoe and most don’t have backpacks with food or water. They don’t last very long before they turn back and begin their hike out ill prepared for the terrain.

We stopped and ate lunch on a ledge, our feet dangling over the edge, the solitude and sheer vastness breathtaking. In the distance we could barely make out the river and we caught a glimpse of a couple of commercial rafts filled with people rafting down the river. Our guide spoke romantically of his hope of one day being a river guide shooting the rapids in an adrenaline fueled experience truly living life on the edge.

The hike back to the top was long, picture yourself slowly climbing stairs for hours and hours. We stopped for breaks many times and our water ran low and when we reached the rim we were exhausted, hungry but exhilarated for what we had accomplished, and although our hiking boots had performed admirably we couldn’t wait to be out of them. Later at dinner we scarfed tacos and burritos, exchanged pictures and relived the high points and low points of the day.

I occasionally put my hiking boots on and hike on some local trails but hiking in Michigan is not the same as the Grand Canyon. Each time I put them on I’m reminded of our family vacation, the adventure, the difficulty and exhilaration of a day spent in the Grand Canyon, a grand experience made better by being properly prepared right down to our hiking boots and although hiking boots may not be visually pleasing and perhaps they don’t complete an outfit they make up for it in the places they will take you.

Peace and Love….

John