How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?
I love that saying, it makes you think about what you do and how you live your life. Your actual age is just a number that signifies when you were born….but how old are you?
Sometimes I look in the mirror, like really look in the mirror, not just a cursory look as I get ready in the morning. I’ll turn my head this way and that, I’ll notice lines and wrinkles….was that one there before…..? did that one deepen….? Sometimes I feel the way I look, but other times I catch a glimpse of the younger guy I used to be. If I’m really thinking about it, I wonder what happened to him and where did the time go….silly I know, but it happens. Everyone’s different….the things I do that I think keep me feeling young just might be the things that are aging me. I hope not, but there are times when my knees and back tell me differently.
I recently spent a long weekend in Florida. The main purpose of my trip was to visit my parents who spend their winters there, but I was also glad to go and leave a cold Michigan winter for a few days.
My parents live in a senior manufactured home park. It’s nice….there’s a clubhouse for activities and a pool to float in. My parents have been there awhile so they know everyone. This winter has been difficult….because of the pandemic, the clubhouse is closed for activities, the number of people at the pool is limited. My dad no longer has an interest in going anywhere. The kitchen table, the patio, the living room, the bedroom…..he moves between these four places throughout the day.
I watch him slowly maneuver his walker down the steps and out the door. Even with a walker, I hold my breath, hoping he doesn’t fall. An outstretched hand or arm meant for support is sometimes met with a glare or an irritated wave, so it’s best to let him go and be there if he asks for help. He glances at the newspaper, no longer that interested in actually reading it. He tries to complete one of his word puzzles but he gives up after only finding half of the words. He dozes on the patio, a fleece jacket covering him in the 80 degree heat. From the table on the patio, he can see everyone walking by, he knows them all but has no interest in conversation.
The kitchen table, the patio, the living room, the bedroom……
On the wall of the dining room is a large clock. It’s the only object on that wall so your eyes are drawn to it. You can see it from both the kitchen and the living room. It was there when my parents moved in….their place came fully furnished, the previous owner had passed away and the family just wanted to sell it. It’s one of those clocks that you can hear the second hand…..tick, tick, tick, tick,….60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour…..tick, tick, tick, tick, ….round and round.
I glanced at it one time when I was cleaning up the kitchen and the house was quiet. I glanced at it again and began walking over to it. The loud ticking of the second hand seemed to echo throughout the house, but as I got closer I realized there was no second hand. I peered really close….the ticking was even louder as I got closer, but the second hand wasn’t there.
It was then that I noticed the face reflecting back at me…..it startled me and I took a step back…I even turned around to see if anyone was behind me, but I knew whose face it was…..tick, tick, tick, tick.
Someday, my mom will sell their place in Florida and move back to Michigan full-time. She doesn’t like the heat as much as my dad does, and she’ll be closer to family, friends and grand-kids. A new family will move in….they probably won’t even notice the clock on the wall…..they’ll be friends to entertain and family will come visit, the beaches are close by and probably by then the clubhouse and pool will be open.
No, they probably won’t even notice the clock on the wall….but someday in the future when there’s fewer parties to go to and the kids and grand-kids don’t come by as much, and the house is quiet, they’ll hear it.
tick, tick, tick, tick……..
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